How NOT to Do It

So I sold my listing on Burbank in San Mateo yesterday and in the process had quite an amazing experience. I had given out 17 disclosures to interested parties and, as you might be able to guess, we got multiple offers. The experience I’m referring to came after I met a nice couple at the last open house on Sunday. They requested the disclosures on Sunday night and I get a call from the guy at about 1:10 on Monday informing me that he would like to put in an offer. Offers were due at 1:00. He proceeds to tell me that he hasn’t quite squared away their financing and asked if he could get his offer to me by 7:00 or 8:00 that evening. Offers were due at 1:00. Naturally…some questions came to my mind.

1) Do you have an agent?

He answered that he didn’t but would be writing the offer himself.

2) Are you a lawyer? A licensed Real Estate agent?

He said no…but he bought another house once this way. Back east someplace.

3) How are you going to find the necessary forms to accomplish this offer?

He said he would be able to download some online someplace.

4) Have you read the disclosures?

He said that he hadn’t but he would have 2 weeks to do that inside his contingency and after he did his own inspections.

5) Are you completely out of your tiny little pea sized mind?

He said that he wasn’t. He also told me he wanted to write a full price offer and leverage the commission (he thought it was $50,000) toward making his offer more attractive.

Seriously…let’s summarize. Here’s a buyer with absolutely no experience at all in real estate in this area wanting to write his own offer in an environment that he knows nothing about. He wants to write a full price offer and leverage the commission which he thinks is 6%. It’s actually a total of 5% and 2.5% is mine…so he apparently wants me to sell the house for free so he can get the house. His offer would be written with long contingencies and a desire to do his own inspections (even though he doesn’t know any local inspectors…I guess he’ll find them online too). Since he doesn’t have access to the approved local contracts he’s going to write his offer on some generic document that may or may not apply to this area’s laws and customs.

I ended up with 7 offers on that house and all 7 were over asking. 6 were As Is with no contingencies of any kind. The house sold $135,000 over asking.

OK, this is rare…thankfully!! Real Estate needs one of those dangerous activity disclaimers posted at open houses. Such as:

Real Estate is an inherently dangerous activity and should be performed only with the proper instruction and supervision of an experienced person. The agent and seller of this home assume no responsibility for any stupid mistakes incurred by the reader!

 

 

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